Lifestyle • 19 August 2024

If you want your relationship to thrive, say goodbye to these 12 behaviors

If you want your relationship to thrive, say goodbye to these 12 behaviors


In any romantic relationship, there will be plenty of good days, and some days where the two of you will clash. However, certain behaviors can create barriers that not only cause further conflicts but also prevent your relationship from growing into the best it could be. If you want to foster a healthy partnership, here are 12 behaviors you should avoid.

1. Communicating poorly.

A man with a beard, wearing a white patterned t-shirt, faces a woman with long hair in a red jacket. They stand close to each other, looking into each other's eyes, on a narrow, sunlit street lined with old buildings.


Communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. When you fail to express your feelings or concerns to your partner, it can lead to a multitude of misunderstandings, emotional distance, and even worse, resentment. Having conversations where you are honest and where you are actively listening to each other is crucial to building trust and making sure you both feel heard.

2. Neglecting quality time.

A woman and a man are in a kitchen. The woman stands with her arms crossed, looking away. The man sits on the counter, looking down. Both appear serious. The kitchen has wooden cabinets and a countertop with a fruit bowl.


Life can get hectic at times, and if you currently live with your partner, it can be easy to fall into the “roommate phase,” where even though the two of you may be in the same room, you’re not spending time together in a meaningful way. Prioritizing shared moments, no matter how small, helps to reinforce your bond and ensures that both partners feel loved and appreciated.

3. Being overly critical.

A woman with long brown hair in a black blazer is angrily pointing and yelling at a man with short hair in a light blue shirt. The man is looking surprised and plugging his ears with his fingers. Both are against a gray background.

Constructive feedback is crucial for the success of any relationship as it allows us to understand what qualities we can improve on and what steps can be put into place to do so. However, excessive negativity and criticism towards your partner can lower their self-esteem and create defensiveness towards each other. Try not to think with your emotions, and remember that the two of you are a team!

4. Showing a lack of emotional support.

A man with a beard, wearing a blue shirt, sits at a table in a café, resting his head on his hand. He has a serious expression and is looking at a woman with long blonde hair sitting across from him. Both have coffee cups in front of them.

Everybody experiences ups and downs in their lives. Having your partner as your rock during difficult times can bring the two of you closer, but if they are dismissive towards your feelings or fail to be present at all, it can create a huge rift. If your partner comes to you for support, make an effort to be there for them, offer encouragement and understanding, and most importantly, listen to them.

5. Holding grudges.

A young man in focus looks thoughtfully into the distance while a woman in the background, blurred, rests her chin on her hand. Both are indoors with a warm, softly lit ambiance.

Couples are bound to argue at some point in their relationship. But if you or your partner are the kind of person who refuses to let go of past conflicts, this can build into ongoing grudges and anger towards each other. Open communication and practicing forgiveness can allow the both of you to feel safe and valued while moving forward together.

6. Avoiding conflict.

A man and woman sit side by side outdoors, both appearing troubled and deep in thought. The woman, in a pink top, looks away to the left, while the man, in a blue button-down shirt, gazes downward. The background shows a blurred urban setting with buildings.

Trying to maintain a happy relationship by avoiding conflicts altogether is just as bad, if not worse, than holding a grudge. Suppressing your emotions or concerns can lead to bigger issues over time, as they linger and eventually explode to the surface. Instead, try approaching disagreements with your partner with a solution-focused mindset, and view them as opportunities to grow together.

7. Being distracted by technology.

A woman and a man sit back-to-back outdoors on a sunny day, both engrossed in their smartphones. The woman, with long dark hair, wears a white blouse. The man, with curly dark hair and a beard, is wearing a denim shirt with a scarf around his neck.

Sometimes after a hard day, all we want to do is spend hours distracting ourselves by scrolling through TikTok or watching funny YouTube videos. However, constantly checking your phone or your social media can distract you from your real-life relationship and make your partner feel neglected. Try setting boundaries around technology usage, especially during quality time together, to foster a deeper connection.

8. Failing to set boundaries.

A woman with folded arms looks upset while sitting on a couch next to a man who is gesturing with his hand and holding a smartphone. They are in a modern living room with a kitchen in the background.


Regardless of how long you’ve been together or how comfortable you are with each other, boundaries are the backbone of any healthy relationship. Without clear limits, partners may overstep and cause feelings of discomfort or violation. Discussing and establishing boundaries can create a safer environment that allows for more open communication and greater intimacy between you and your partner.

9. Neglecting personal growth.

A young couple sits on an empty paved surface outdoors, leaning against each other. The man, with a beard, wears a denim jacket over an olive shirt. The woman, with long hair, wears a black leather jacket and white sneakers. They appear content and relaxed.


While relationships are all about growing together, individual growth is just as important. Neglecting your personal goals and interests can not only cause dissatisfaction in your relationship, but also make you lose sight of your core self. Make sure to encourage each other to pursue their personal endeavors while remaining supportive of each other’s journeys.

10. Focusing on your partner’s negative qualities.

A woman with blonde hair wearing a striped shirt sits at the edge of a bed, looking distressed and holding her forehead. In the background, a man with dark hair leans back, propped up on the bed, appearing to be in a reflective or troubled state.


Sure, you may not like it when your partner snores, or how messy they choose to keep their space. However, constantly highlighting these flaws to your partner can create a toxic environment that leaves both of you feeling like you’re walking on eggshells. Shifting focus to the positive aspects of your relationship promotes a more supportive atmosphere that fosters love and appreciation.

11. Comparing your partner to others.

A woman in focus looks ahead and smiles, while in the background, a couple shares an embrace with the woman looking at the man. The scene is set outdoors on a street with buildings and an outdoor umbrella.


Although, at times, this may be done in an innocuous way, comparing your partner’s physical or emotional qualities to others can foster feelings of insecurity and inadequacy in your relationship. Take a step back and remember that every relationship is unique. Celebrating each other’s strengths over weaknesses will bring the two of you closer together.

12. Ignoring signs of unhappiness.

A man sits at the edge of a bed, resting his chin on his hand with a pensive expression. A woman sits in the background, cross-legged on the bed, looking downward while holding her foot. Both appear to be deep in thought.


If you or your partner ever start to feel dissatisfied about your relationship, don’t push it away. Ignoring feelings of unhappiness can result in emotional distance, which will cause a more intense strain in your relationship. To avoid this, regularly check in with each other about the relationship, and prioritize discussions about your emotional states and needs

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