Museveni “Discovers” Election Rigging – After 38 Years in Power

(Kampala) – President Yoweri Museveni, who has been playing monopoly as leader of Uganda for a jaw dropping 38 years, recently claimed he has uncovered the secrets of election rigging. And it is not the usual suspects that are being accused. According to Museveni, the National Unity Platform (NUP), led by the fiery musician turned politician Robert Kyagulanyi (Bobi Wine), stole a whole one million votes during the 2021 election. Just like that.

Speaking during a church Thanksgiving service (because where else would you make such an announcement?) at the conclusion of the Defence and Security Expo 2024, Museveni claimed: “I have the facts,” he declared, to the thunderous applause of the congregation, complete with the hallelujahs and the waving of handkerchiefs.

The President, who has somehow managed to win every single election since 1996 (surprise, surprise), was adamant that NUP pulled off an electoral heist. To emphasize that this wasn’t just your average Sunday school story, he reminded everyone that NUP could even drag him to court for his bold claims.

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You would be forgiven for thinking that Museveni dropped this bombshell at a political rally but this was during a church service at the Defence and Security Expo, themed to honor the late Gen. Aronda Nyakairima. This theme was all about patriotism, sacrifice, and Pan Africanism. But apparently, the highlight was this unexpected chapter of Uganda’s political thriller.

Rev. Onesmus Asiimwe, the Bishop of North Kigezi Diocese, led the service, along with Rev. Emeritus Patrick Tugume. Their prayers may have focused on peace, but by the end of the service, the conversation was clearly about the one million ghosts in Uganda’s electoral closet.

In case you thought you misheard, the President clarified: “I have the facts. NUP can take me to court, and they will find that Museveni is not just making up stories.” By now anyone with a basic grasp of Uganda’s laws should realize the problem with this statement. NUP can’t take Museveni to court because the law says you can’t sue the President!

Naturally, NUP was not going to let this slide without a comeback. David Lewis Rubongoya, NUP’s secretary general, clearly wasn’t having it. When asked about Museveni’s claims, Rubongoya threw down his own opinion: “Let him produce the evidence. We also have evidence of rigging”, he added with the confidence of a Mukiga (from the mountains, unfazed by storms).

Museveni’s Election Timeline

Highlights

1986

Museveni takes power

1996

First “free and fair” election win

2001

Wins second term – no surprises there

2006

A third term, despite increased opposition

2011

Secures a fourth term amidst rigging claims

2016

Wins again, leading to protests

2021

Claims NUP “stole” 1 million votes

Museveni enjoys the kind of legal immunity that makes him untouchable. So even if NUP wanted to take him to court over these claims, the law says, “Good luck with that.” Rubongoya, with a tone that could only be described as sarcastically polite, pointed out that the President can’t be sued. “So we can’t sue him,” he said, leaving everyone wondering just how serious Museveni’s accusations really are.

For those who need a reminder, the 2021 election was one for the history books – or at least Uganda’s election diary. Museveni won his sixth term with 6 million votes (around 58%). Bobi Wine, his biggest challenger, garnered 3.6 million votes (35%). It was a contest marked by allegations of fraud, violence, and that unforgettable internet shutdown. Bobi Wine even petitioned the Supreme Court to overturn the results but later withdrew, describing the court as biased and one sided. He walked away from the legal fight but didn’t stop his political resistance.

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And now, almost three years later, Museveni drops the bombshell that the election wasn’t just contested; it was stolen – by exactly one million votes, according to his new detective work.

Election Results (2021)

Votes

Museveni (NRM)

6 million

Bobi Wine (NUP)

3.6 million

Alleged NUP Cheating (New Claim)

1 million

Museveni, who has been “winning” elections before half of Uganda’s population was born, now finds himself accusing NUP of rigging – and not just a few hundred votes, but a whole million. After 38 years in power, Museveni has finally realized that electoral rigging is a thing. This, for many Ugandans, was just a drama that never seems to end.

So why is Museveni bringing up this million vote cheating scandal now? And why in church, of all places? Perhaps he’s feeling nostalgic about the days when his election wins were not questioned (which is never, from 2001). Or maybe he just wanted to remind everyone who’s really in charge, even when it comes to complaining about rigging.

Museveni’s claims have raised more than a few eyebrows. If NUP cheated by one million votes, where were they hiding them? Were these votes secretly stashed away in kaveera (plastic bags) in the back of boda-bodas? Or did they mysteriously appear like a plate of rolex at 2 AM after a night out?

For many Ugandans, Museveni’s sudden concern about vote rigging is like someone complaining about rain in Kampala during the rainy season – we all know it happens, but pretending to be surprised by it seems unnecessary.