Dealing with different political views as a couple

Politics can be deeply personal, touching on values and beliefs that shape who we are. When those beliefs differ sharply from those of a partner, it can feel like a fundamental mismatch, leading to feelings of alienation, frustration, and even betrayal.

Emily Turwomwe, a relationship therapist, says political differences are becoming more pronounced in relationships today.

“With the rise of social media and the constant flow of news, people are more engaged in politics than ever before. These differences can easily seep into relationships conflicting partners’ core values,” she says.

But is it possible to maintain a loving relationship with someone whose political views frankly contrast with your own? Experts and couples who have faced this challenge say yes, if both partners are willing to navigate these differences with care and understanding.

Strain of political differences

Sarah Ninsiima and Tom Mulera who were once inseparable, found themselves on opposite sides during the last election.

“We used to be able to talk about anything. But when it came to politics, it was as if we were speaking different languages. What started as small disagreements turned into full-blown arguments, and by the time the election rolled around, we were barely speaking.” Ninsiima recalls. Despite their love for each other, Ninsiima and Murela could not reconcile their differences.

“It was not just about politics,” Mulera explains. “It was about feeling as though we no longer shared the same core values.”

Understanding each other

However, not all couples allow political differences to drive them apart. Maria Tugume and David Kiwanuka, who have been married for 15 years, have found a way to coexist despite their opposing views. Their differing views have sparked lively debates rather than arguments.

“My husband and I have always voted for different parties, “Tugume says. “But we have learnt to listen to each other without trying to change the other person’s mind. It is more about understanding where the other person is coming from and respecting that,” she notes.

“We have agreed to disagree on certain issues. In the end, our love and respect for each other matter more than who we vote for,” Tugume adds.

Making it work

So how can couples such as Ninsiima and Mulera make it work when politics is a point of contention? Turwomwe emphasises the importance of empathy.

People often feel that their political views are an extension of their identity, so when a partner challenges those views, it can feel like a personal attack.

“The key is to listen to your partner with an open mind and try understanding their perspective without immediately jumping to counter their points,” Turwomwe adds.

Relationship counsellor Mark Johnson Ssali suggests setting boundaries around political discussions.

“Agreeing on when and where to discuss politics can prevent a lot of unnecessary conflict. Some couples decide to make the dinner table a politics-free zone, while others might limit discussions to certain times or contexts,” Ssali advises.

Ellison Kitaka, a psychologist specialising in couple therapy, adds that understanding the root of your partner’s political beliefs can also be beneficial.

“Often, political views are shaped by personal experiences, upbringing, and cultural background. By exploring these factors together, couples can gain a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives and find common ground,” Kitaka observes.

For couples looking to navigate these tricky waters, focusing on shared values can be a lifeline.

“At the end of the day, most couples want the same things; happiness, security, love. Keeping these common goals in mind can help you rise above the argument,” says Turwomwe.

Listening

Another strategy is practising active listening. This can help diffuse tension and make your partner feel respected, even if you do not agree with their views.

“Make an effort to hear what your partner is saying without immediately preparing a rebuttal,” Ssali advises.

Creating “politics-free” zones or times can also be effective. Having space in your relationship where politics simply is not discussed can allow them to focus on other aspects of their lives together.

“It is also important to recognise when to agree to disagree. Not every political difference needs to be resolved. Sometimes, it is healthier to acknowledge that you and your partner have different views and that is okay. The goal is to maintain mutual respect, even in disagreement,” Kitaka opines.

For some, engaging in joint activities that reinforce common interests outside of politics can help.

“Whether it is a shared hobby, volunteering together, or even travelling, doing things that bring joy to both partners can strengthen the relationship and provide a buffer against political disagreements,” Kitaka adds.

Political differences do not have to be deal-breakers. With patience, empathy, and a commitment to understanding, couples can navigate these differences and come out stronger on the other side.

As Turwomwe notes: “It is not about agreeing on everything; it is about agreeing to respect and love each other, no matter what. In a world increasingly divided by politics, let love be the one thing that brings us together.”