Bobi Wine to Museveni: “Why Keep Byabakama if You Were Cheated?”

(Kampala) – Robert Kyagulanyi, aka Bobi Wine, has thrown down the gauntlet to President Yoweri Museveni.
During a press briefing at the National Unity Platform (NUP) headquarters in Kavule on September 16, 2024, Bobi Wine responded to Museveni’s claim that NUP cheated by a cool one million votes in the last general election. According to Museveni, he has the “evidence,” which, if we are being honest, feels like waiting for rain in the desert: long promised but never delivered.
In his signature style, Bobi Wine wasted no time brushing off the allegations. With the energy of someone who has just been accused of stealing an entire bunch of Matooke from a market, he responded: “Museveni’s remarks are a mix of shamelessness and nostalgia. While honoring Gen. Aronda Nyakairima (RIP), the man still found time to cry foul about votes. My first instinct was to forgive him. But then I thought , why not take this to the big boys’ playground? Let us do an international audit, supervised by the United Nations. I dare him!”
Now, Uganda loves its challenges, from nude pose challenges to music battles in bars, but Bobi Wine’s challenge has the weight of a Kasooli farmer betting his entire harvest. Museveni, on the other hand, is staying mum on whether he will take it up, despite having famously challenged his opponents to “come to court.”
In the 2021 general election, Museveni, like that uncle who always wins the family ludo game, declared victory with 58.38% of the vote, leaving Bobi Wine with 35%. Not bad for a man Museveni dismissed as a “political novice,” but now it seems the President is questioning the integrity of the win, as if realizing his ludo pieces were rigged all along.
While presiding over the Defence and Security Expo at Speke Resort Munyonyo, Museveni doubled down on his claims, stating: “I have all the evidence that NUP cheated by one million votes. I have the facts. NUP can take me to court.” It’s the kind of bold statement Ugandans have heard before, often followed by… well, nothing.
Bobi Wine’s response, however, had more spice than a plate of Rolex at a Kampala street corner: “If you were cheated out of a million votes, why are you still employing Byabakama (the Electoral Commission chairperson)? Isn’t it like hiring a witch doctor who fails to cure you but you keep going back to him?”
And to add the final bit of sauce, Bobi Wine, who showed up with his loyal NUP entourage, delivered a letter to Museveni outlining 22 charges against the man. One might think this was a boda boda traffic stop with that many violations. “Let Museveni drop his Presidential immunity,” Bobi Wine said, “and we will face each other in court. Mano a mano!”
The NUP also addressed the ongoing saga of the People’s Front for Freedom (PFF), a political party still in limbo, driven by allies of Dr. Kizza Besigye, a familiar player in Uganda’s political chess games. The Electoral Commission had delayed the registration of the PFF, citing name similarities to an already reserved party, People Power Front (PPF). According to NUP Secretary General Lewis Rubongoya, this was just another tactic from “regime apologists” to confuse the masses, like trying to convince a Ugandan that tea without sugar is still tea.
Rubongoya continued, “We have told the Electoral Commission to revoke that reservation. People Power is our thing! These schemes to undermine the Opposition are like trying to fetch water in a basket: pointless and messy.”
Leader of the Opposition Joel Ssenyonyi added a final note of defiance, comparing the government’s propaganda to the endless rumors that your neighbor’s chicken is tastier than yours: “We are growing as a force, and that is why they smear us. But the more they talk, the more we rise. Let us not lose focus.”
Bobi Wine issued a rallying cry to the nation: “We challenge Museveni to drop his immunity and face the music in court. And by the way, the regime is also planning to take away the people’s right to vote directly for a President and hand it to corrupt MPs. Museveni, at almost 90 years old, knows he won’t win any more votes, and his successors are as unpopular as a dry season in Karamoja. They want to avoid the humiliation of losing.”
With Bobi Wine announcing a nationwide mobilisation tour starting October 7, there is bound to be more twists in this never ending saga.