Kakwenza Rukirabashaija Offered ‘Big Job’ and State Protection. Exiled Novelist Declines Museveni Deal

Kakwenza Rukirabashaija Offered ‘Big Job’ and State Protection. Novelist Declines Museveni Deal

Exiled Ugandan novelist Kakwenza Rukirabashaija has claimed that he was contacted by a woman who identified herself as calling from State House Entebbe and was offered protection, a senior government job and assistance to return to Uganda, but said he rejected the proposal.

In a statement shared publicly, Rukirabashaija recounted what he described as two telephone conversations in which the caller said President Yoweri Museveni wanted him to return to Uganda and promised to facilitate his resettlement.

“One day a woman called me from State House Entebbe. Euphonious voice with a touch of western accent, I will give it that,” narrated Rukirabashaija.

“Smooth and deliberate, the voice of someone trained to deliver difficult propositions without sounding like they are delivering difficult propositions.”

According to Rukirabashaija, the caller informed him that the President wanted him back in Uganda.

“‘Mzee would like you to return to Uganda,’ she said.”

He said he sought clarification about who she meant.

“‘Which Mzee,’ I asked. ‘There are many old men in Uganda,’ I added.”

Rukirabashaija said the woman replied: “Museveni.”

He then asked what the proposed arrangement involved.

“‘On what deal…’ I asked.”

According to the novelist, the caller responded: “You will be protected,’ she said. ‘And given a great job.'”

Rukirabashaija said he rejected the proposal, arguing that he did not believe such assurances.

“I sat with that for a moment. Protected. A job. In Uganda, the only people who enjoy genuine protection are those of… Museveni’s bloodline. They move through the country like weather: untouchable, unavoidable, arriving and departing without consequence. I am not of his bloodline. I told her this,” he revealed.

“I told her I was not interested. I also told her that if I ever decided to return to Uganda I would not be requiring anyone’s permission. I can return any time I want. That is what a passport is for although I have none.”

He further claimed that the woman called him again a week later with another message.

“The following week she called back. She had reported our entire conversation to Mzee, she said. He had listened carefully. He was sending my passport, she said, together with a package to facilitate my return. We would then sit down and discuss my security and resettlement,” Rukirabashaija further narrated.

Rukirabashaija said he questioned why he would require protection.

“‘Protect me against whom,’ I asked.”

He said the caller answered: “Anyone who would want to hurt you when you come back,’ she said.”

The novelist said he found the explanation unconvincing.

“I thought about this. The only people who have ever wanted to hurt me in Uganda are the people who have already hurt me: tortured me, imprisoned me three times, and driven me into exile. Those same people now wanted me to come back so they could protect me from themselves,” he recalled.

He said he then responded bluntly.

“‘You must think I am an [1di0t],’ I said.”

According to Rukirabashaija, the caller insisted that Museveni wanted to resolve the matter.

“‘But Mzee wants to solve that problem,’ she said. ‘You are being elusive like a p1glet that has bathed in oil.'”

Rukirabashaija said he found the comparison memorable.

“I appreciated the imagery. It was the most honest thing said in either conversation. I immediately remembered the oiled piglets they used in demonstrations at parliament,” he said.

He concluded by saying he told the caller there was only one circumstance under which he would feel completely safe in Uganda.

“I told her the only arrangement under which I could feel genuinely protected in Uganda was if [he married into the first family].”

The claims have not been independently verified, and State House had not publicly responded to Rukirabashaija’s account at the time of publication.

Kakwenza has previously narrated how he Chewed Museveni’s Money and disappeared.