The new plot to earn you aura points in Kampala

Sunday in Uganda was always the day when people repented of their sins and called the week, a week. On this day, we would raise our hands in the air, chant out lines such as ‘I wanna be tried by fire, purified…’ All one had to do was make it to Church, and then stay in all afternoon. Finally, one would deal with the Sunday evening blues as they dreaded he start of another week. But that is completely a story of the past.

First came Blankets and Wine, which opened Ugandans to an active Sunday evening. No one knew we could party into Sunday night and still make it to Monday morning in one piece. But we did it, thanks to the painkillers and stolen naps in the office car park. The festivals also proved to us that we could do a two or three-day party. In that mix, we had the marathons. Sunday mornings were for marathons. It was easier to control traffic then, again, a new way to rethink the occasions of Sunday.

Enters Brunch

Then brunch happened and blew off in ways no one had anticipated. You could say, that for those that partied through Saturday night, Sunday morning was the time one had to grab some recovery soup. But the brunch concept came and grew its own tentacles, its own branches. Everyone could pick something out of a brunch.

For those that sought another excuse to leave home on a Sunday morning, brunch was the perfect excuse. For those that sought another occasion to connect and show up in society, brunch became that concept. One just had to know which brunch; for it seems, every brunch appealed to a different audience, different purpose and delivered different outcomes.

The fashionistas

When is it best to unveil one’s Sunday best? With Church service becoming a casual affair, people’s wardrobes needed new outlets. When does Daphne get to showcase her fake ‘Hermes’ and keep up with society? When does one get to show the results of their body workouts and commitments to almond milk? Well, the answer came down to brunchBunch is the new ‘red carpet’ affair of sorts. You can now step out looking like some good euros, while making sure everyone picks that Valentino Donna scent.

For the men, it is time to show that the bulking efforts have not gone to waste. Well, the big beard trend is still on, and the sunglasses can get to do some work. And then everyone will tell that the protein supplement supplied by Musa the Gym trainer do actually work. Speak of brunch and awaken the fashionistas. It is the moment to style up, to catwalk and make sure you feature in one of those Nyaika shots.

The foodies

For the hotels, lounges and restaurants, brunch was a blessing in disguise. Now, they could make a promise of fine dining at a premium price. And the foodies just hit a jackpot. Now, they could partake of different courses, enjoy the fine plating, and get confused by the chef’s food names. Things such as Pouvre de poulet, until one finds out it was nothing but your normal grilled chicken. And well, who does not want to have more than three courses, enjoy some soup and then dessert? With more and more people signing out of the home-cooking struggles, brunch becomes that Sunday escape from those worries. No having to direct the Glovo guy to your location, only to realise the map pinned them on that ka-road behind your bedroom that leads nowhere.

The drinking won’t stop

The alcohol companies must be the happiest. As people eat, they create more space for drinks. And who is taking a beer here? No, it is wine. It is champagne, it is spirits. As people start off with some premium gin, they get happier and switch to cocktails and before long, it is shots of tequila.

You see on Friday, everyone knows you are just a drunkard at the bar. But on Sundays, all dressed in your best, you are just a calm responsible chap enjoying a chillaxed Sunday morning dine. Again, for some people, brunch is that extension for the drinking week. And no better drinking than no judgement drinking.

The music and games

Dopamine is the animal we are all searching for. And brunch has that animal in plenty. Most brunches will have a live band entertaining guests. Other brunches have decided to incorporate games. So, it is funny quizzes, card games, well no big point around winning, and some karaoke.

Again, some Sundays get really slow and low, so brunch brings in that dopamine fix. Escape home, it shouts, come here into our bosom. Come find that which home cannot give you; the vibes, the aura, the memories.

The conversations and connections

Like the classic 18th century French salon, brunch is the new conversation maker. The best conversations will always happen around food and drinks. It has also become the new chill who just took his start-up through a Series A round. Or that babe who is now rocking it in Fintech with some app that saves some random women and youth farmers in Kamwenge.

But the conversations need not be serious. They could be about Enid (the main bae), who left her deera at home in Bulindo while Ken enjoys his side bae, a ka banker who has recently taken up golfing as her hobby.

It is at brunch that we finally meet that dude who is running the show in PLU and get to know how to settle the bonds versus unit trust conversations. Who knows? You also bump into the other influencer dude who is here just for the gig.

Brunch is all about these connections you build. It is the moment to also low-key kwetega. You just cannot keep attending and serving at other people’s kuhingiras when we could fix yours here.

Sizing up?

How will the world know that your new ride landed? How will you know that the beautiful were already born in Kampala? It is down to the brunch. And how do we know that life has treated you well if you cannot show up. You must show up in society. You see, in Kampala when people say; ‘you are lost’, it is another statement to mean; ‘you must be struggling.’

The only way to prove you are not struggling is by showing up. By being at one of the top brunches in town. Yes, there are many mushrooming brunches, but you must be seen at one of the top ones. The one where all the baddies are flocking. The one where the netted dresses are the norm. And when you show up, the statement must be made with the car.

It is not that moment when you drop here in a Raum. Wait and tag with your friend in his latest GLE series. And again, as you pop out, complain that you cannot miss that Verstappen session in Formula One or at least complain about Kabira Lounge’s new policies or how the Fort Portal golf course affected your handicap.

Remember, you must be seen in Kampala. It is how you thrive here. If we do not see you, you do not exist, and you are doing nothing for all we know. Be seen, but do not appear to be flexing to be seen. Like you bring that subtle aura. Yes, brunch is for the aura.

Sunday Service for the new times

You see our fathers longed for ekyenkya. It was their version of a brunch. The men and women met at some hangout and enjoyed some goat soup, offals and katogo. Now, the new generation woke up and said, we can have more of the same but in a new styling. Breakfast will be combined with lunch, and we shall create brunch. And given that many had already opted out of church, brunch has become the new Sunday service.

They commune, they sing, they dance, they tithe, they worship. It is everything that happens at church but without the strings of the church rules. The only rules here are that when the phone rings, it should be the latest in the S-series or something in the bigger teen world of iPhone. Nothing else should ring here. Unless it is the other new variants; the Nothing and One-Plus phone.

On one of the tables, you will spot the girl you beef, on another you will spot the chap you worked with before at some company. And remember that he was always on some performance improvement plan. But he is over there assuring people that he is the guy that holds everything together wherever he works. Yes, there are also testimonies at brunch.

BREAKING BREAD

The preachers at Sunday brunches are the hosts and the bands. The wine exists in plenty in form of cocktails, gin, whisky and sparkling wine and the bread exists in the cuisine. Now brunches are spicing it up with signature chefs headlining them. Who knows, it will soon be live podcast sessions at brunches. Everything that will happen at a brunch is going to happen.

Bunches could soon lead to dinner clubs. Chaps that meet up once a month for a dinner session. And may be, it will soon be membership clubs, before some other finance guy tells them the same old story mbu they can do an investment club as brunch goers.