From childhood friends to lifelong partners

“The first time I set my eyes on him, he was playing the drums at church. He had the most charming and calm smile I have ever seen. His zeal to serve the Lord and Christ-like character kept drawing me to him,” reveals Hope Lilian Nelomi, on what she says was love at first sight for Ephraim Mugabi.
According to The Pew Research Centre (2016), 44 percent of adults surveyed said that shared religious beliefs are important for a successful marriage. This means that when two partners have the same interests, their bond is stronger.
This might just be the magic that links Mugabi, a social worker and Nelomi, a lawyer.
At the time of their first meeting, the couple had travelled to Butaleja District in eastern Uganda for a five-day evangelism with Jerusalem Evangelical Ministries in 2011. Mugabi was an instrumentalist whereas Nelomi was a singer. All it took was his groove to make Nelomi’s heart skip a bit.
Much as she was already smitten by his dark complexion as well as his calm and respectful personality, she decided to stay tight-lipped about how she felt about him.
So, their first conversation was rather plain and did not indicate whether either party had any interest in a romantic relationship.
The bond
“Our first conversations centred on my music, how many songs I had recorded and at what studio, whether I wrote the songs myself and how I got money for recording given the fact that some songs had been recorded during my Senior Six vacation,” she says.
However, while talking, the couple discovered that they had many attributes in common.
“We are both firstborns in our families, and of the same faith; Pentecostal, raised by mothers. We all love gospel music and are both ministers in our respective churches,” the couple says.
Ephraim adds, “I also discovered that we were both students at Uganda Christian University, and this was when we decided to start singing together under a ministry called Mustard Seed.”
Being actively involved in ministry, the pair bonded more and got to connect with mutual friends.
“One day, one of our mutual friends from the ministry approached me, saying Ephraim was in love with me,” Nelomi says.
However, because from the beginning he had never shown any romantic interest in her, she ignored these claims noting that “He was simply a friend and brother and would often pass by my hostel to check on me and my roommate.”
To her surprise, different from all his usual visits, one day Ephraim called her asking for a meeting to which she agreed but suggested they meet in her hostel room.
She says, “He sounded different, more determined and straight away I knew this was different. I had to rush to the hostel to prepare a simple meal and after eating, he professed his love for me.”
“Hope, I love you. I do not want you to just be my girlfriend. I want you to be my wife. I do not expect any answer right now but please, take your time to think and pray about it. I will be waiting for your answer for as long as you want. I love you," he had said.
One thing that stood out for her that day was his composure and how determined he was.
“He is a man of few words. I realised it must have taken him a lot of courage to profess his love for me. Because I had not seen it coming, I was lost for words,” Nelomi says, adding that because she had confided in him about so much, including the many suitors who had been approaching her, she waited a few weeks to give him a response.
“Since I considered him a brother, I took time to respond. I accepted the proposal a few weeks later and it is one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to me.”
Out of sight …
The couple says the time after graduating from university was the most challenging for them since Mugabi had to settle in Jinja City, eastern Uganda, for work as Nelomi completed her studies at law school.
“Being in a long-distance relationship was hard. Balancing studies, a relationship and work was quite challenging," they share, adding that what kept them going was the fact that they kept in touch daily through phone calls and messages.
Because of this, the couple also agreed to get married immediately after Nelomi finished school.
Advice
The love birds encourage other couples, saying long-distance relationships are doable as long as you each have the utmost trust for each other. It is also important to keep communication lines open and always finding time out of your busy schedules to catch up.
Mugabi recalls setting the dates for the first visit Kukyaala) to Hope's parents just after she had graduated from law school.
"We agreed on the wedding dates and agreed on having a simple wedding, which also kept our budget in check," he shares.
Wedding
The couple chose to walk down the aisle at Elim Pentecostal Church in Walukuba, Jinja, on June 15, 2015. The ceremony was officiated by Bishop Frederick Makka and later, they welcomed their guests to a reception at Redeemed Community Church grounds in Jinja City.
"We kept our budget low at only Shs8m. We requested friends for vehicles which were used by the bridal entourage and asked friends to avail services at a cheaper price or even free of charge. Our reception venue was free of charge, changing clothes were hired at a giveaway price, salon services were offered by a friend at a friendly price and food was prepared by our church family," Mugabi says.
However, one thing the couple regrets is the photography, which they believe needed more investment.
The love birds encourage other couples, saying long-distance relationships are doable as long as you each have the utmost trust for each other.
Making it work
The love birds spend quality time together through prayer, with their favourite prayer spot being Nile Nest on Kayunga Road where they say it is quiet enough and enables them to spend time talking to God. On other days, they take their children for fun activities as a family.
They say virtues such as love, trust, honesty, openness, forgiveness and humility, are the pillars of their marriage.
The Mugabis say they are determined to make their marriage work and this is possible through daily reminding each other of the vows they took. They encourage other couples to respect the institution of marriage.