11 Things You Should Never Do, No Matter How Tempting It Gets

Life is full of moments where the wrong choice feels incredibly right. These temptations often whisper seductive promises: instant relief, avoided conflict, immediate satisfaction.

But the thing about tempting choices is that they often lead us exactly where we don’t want to go. Sometimes the most natural human impulses are the ones that backfire most spectacularly. They are the ones that leave us with damaged relationships, lingering regret, and that familiar pit-in-your-stomach feeling that comes from knowing you could have handled things differently. Here are 11 such impulses to avoid at all costs.

1. Making decisions when you’re emotionally charged.

When someone cuts you off in traffic or your boss undermines you in a meeting, every cell in your body screams for immediate action. And boy, does it feel good to fire off that scathing text at 2am or march into your manager’s office to quit with dramatic flair.

The problem is, when you’re emotionally flooded, your prefrontal cortex—the part responsible for rational thinking—essentially goes offline. You’re operating from your amygdala, which has all the strategic planning skills of a caffeinated toddler.

I’ve learned this the hard way more times than I’d care to admit. The 24-hour rule has saved me countless embarrassing moments: write the angry email but save it in drafts, sleep on the big decision, or call a trusted friend first. I can all but guarantee you that your future self will thank you for pressing pause when your emotions are running the show.

2. Giving advice unless someone actually asks for it.

You watch your friend make the same relationship mistake for the fifth time, and the solution seems so obvious that you want to shake them. It’s natural. We genuinely want to save people from themselves, and the urge to share our wisdom feels like pure love.

But often what unsolicited advice actually communicates is this: “I don’t trust you to figure this out yourself.” Even when you’re absolutely right (and you probably are), people rarely thank you for pointing out their blind spots without permission.

Instead of launching into fix-it mode, try: “That sounds really difficult. How are you feeling about it all?” or “Would you like me to listen, or would you prefer some input?” This approach honors their autonomy while keeping the door open if they do want your undoubtedly valuable perspective.

Of course, genuine safety concerns are different—if someone is in danger, speak up regardless.

3. Ignoring persistent physical symptoms (because you’ve come up with lots of excuses).

Small health issues can become major problems when left unchecked, and early intervention is almost always easier than crisis management. But if you’re anything like me and hate going to the doctor, you probably have an array of excuses at the ready: work is crazy busy, you’re probably just stressed, tired, or getting older.

And all that may well be true, and that “weird thing” might well be nothing. But it might also be something. Something that’s much more treatable now than later. Make the appointment, get the test, ask the question. Your body is the only one you get—treat it with the attention it deserves.

4. Ghosting someone instead of having an uncomfortable conversation.

Modern technology has given us the ultimate escape hatch: the ability to simply vanish. Why endure an awkward conversation when you can just… not respond? The appeal is undeniable. There’s no confrontation, no hurt feelings to witness, no stumbling over explanations. But ghosting creates a psychological wound that festers for both parties.

The person left behind cycles through confusion, self-blame, and eventually resentment, while you carry the weight of unfinished business. Even a brief, honest message is better than silence: “I’ve realized we’re looking for different things” or “I don’t think we’re a good match, but I wish you well.” Yes, they might respond poorly, but at least you can look yourself in the mirror and know you acted with integrity.

5. Saying “calm down” to someone who’s upset.

I’m fairly certain no one in the history of human emotion has ever actually calmed down after being told to calm down—it usually has the opposite effect. You might as well just throw a stick of dynamite their way.

What the upset person hears is: “Your feelings are wrong, inappropriate, or too much for me to handle.” It’s dismissive and invalidating, even when your intentions are pure. Instead, try reflecting what you’re seeing: “You seem really frustrated right now” or “This is clearly important to you.” Sometimes, simply acknowledging someone’s emotional state without trying to eradicate it is the most powerful gift you can offer. Save your solutions for when they’re ready to problem-solve.

6. Promising something you can’t deliver.

People-pleasers, this one’s for you. When someone asks for help, that immediate “Of course!” acts as a sort of social lubricant. It avoids disappointment, makes you look capable, and buys you time to figure out the details later. Of course, you can help them move house. And babysit. And bake fifty cupcakes for the school fundraiser. All while working overtime and managing your own family crisis.

But that momentary relief of saying yes gets obliterated when reality hits and you realize you’ve over-promised your way into an impossible situation. Each broken commitment chips away at your integrity and others’ trust in you.

It’s far better to disappoint someone upfront with an honest “I wish I could, but I can’t commit to that right now” than to let them down when they’re counting on you. Reliability beats agreeability – every single time.

7. Bringing up past mistakes during current arguments.

When you’re fighting about the dishes, and suddenly you remember that insensitive comment your partner made three years ago, it feels like you’ve found the perfect ammunition. After all, why limit yourself to the current issue when you have an entire arsenal of historical grievances?

This approach, which psychologists have coined “kitchen sinking,” feels intensely satisfying in the moment. Finally, you can address everything, everything, that’s been bothering you. But what actually happens is you derail any chance of resolving the original problem while creating new wounds.

Focus on the present issue only. Deal with one conflict at a time, or you’ll never resolve anything.

8. Assuming you know what someone else is thinking or feeling.

You see your colleague’s eye roll during your presentation, and you immediately know exactly what it means: they think your ideas are stupid, they don’t respect you, and they’re probably talking about you behind your back.

The certainty feels unshakeable—you’d bet your house on your interpretation. But if you did, there’s a good chance you’d end up homeless. That eye roll might have been about their contact lens, a text from their teenager, or their own anxiety about presenting next.

Dr. Paula Durlofsky reminds us that we do so much damage to our relationships when we assume we can read minds and project our own fears and experiences onto other people’s behavior. Instead of building elaborate stories about other people’s motivations, try curiosity. Just ask the person what they are thinking. You might be surprised to learn that not everything is about you.

9. Trying to change someone’s mind during a heated social media discussion.

The righteous urge to educate morons on social media with facts and logic feels like a moral imperative. Surely, you think, if you just present the right evidence clearly enough, you’ll open their eyes to the truth.

But here’s how these interactions actually unfold: positions become more entrenched, personal attacks emerge, and everyone leaves feeling more convinced they’re right than when they started. You just can’t logic someone out of an emotionally-held position, especially not in a public forum where admitting you’re wrong means losing face in front of an audience.

If you genuinely want to influence someone’s thinking, private conversations built on curiosity and respect work far better than public debates. Online, consider asking questions instead of making statements: “What experiences led you to that conclusion?” But quite often, the best response is no response. Save your energy for conversations where minds are actually open to change.

10. Keeping toxic people in your life just because of history.

When a long-term “friend” drains every conversation, consistently undermines your confidence, or treats you poorly, it can be tempting to keep them in your life just because you’ve been through a lot together.

But the sunk cost fallacy applies to relationships, too. And time invested doesn’t justify continued investment in something that’s actively harming you. You might even be convincing yourself that enduring poor treatment is noble when it’s actually fear of change disguised as loyalty.

There’s a difference between supporting someone through genuine hardship and enabling someone’s toxic behavior because you’re afraid of disappointing them. Healthy relationships should add value to your life, not consistently subtract from it.

11. Assuming your memory of an argument is completely accurate.

No one wants to believe this, but we all misremember things. Memory is reconstructive, not reproductive. Your brain doesn’t store conversations like a recording device. Each time you recall an event, you’re actually rebuilding it, and your current emotional state influences that reconstruction.

This isn’t intentional deception. It’s simply how human memory works, and it happens to everyone. That’s why eye-witness accounts are so unreliable.

Unfortunately, when we’re arguing about two different versions of the same conversation, the unshakable belief in our own memory only escalates the conflicts. The truth is, you’re probably both wrong and both right to some extent, but unless you recorded the conversation (which I wouldn’t recommend), you’ll never really know what happened, so arguing about it is entirely pointless.

Final thoughts…

The path of least resistance often feels like wisdom until you’re dealing with the consequences. It’s in those crucial seconds between impulse and action, when you can choose the harder right over the easier wrong. None of us gets this right all the time, and that’s exactly the point. Self-awareness combined with a little patience can transform those split-second choices from sources of regret into opportunities for integrity and respect.