Stop Asking the Rich for Money, Try This Instead

There is a silent pattern that plays out every single day, especially in our part of the world. The moment someone is perceived to have money—whether they are actually rich or just slightly better off—their phone changes purpose. It stops being a communication tool and becomes a request center.

Every call carries a story. Every message carries a need. School fees. Medical emergencies. Business capital.

“Boss, I’m stuck. I just need a small boost. I will return, I promise.”

Over time, something interesting happens. The relationship quietly shifts from connection to expectation. It becomes one-directional.

What many people don’t realize is that wealthy or financially stable individuals rarely receive anything in return. Not because they need material things, but because the world around them assumes they don’t. It is almost as if once someone crosses a certain financial threshold, they are no longer candidates for kindness—only for requests.

And yet, the truth is deeply human: everyone, regardless of status, wants to feel thought of, appreciated, and valued beyond what they can give.

I learned this lesson in a very personal way.

We had a friend older than us, well established, financially comfortable—the kind of person who would invite us for lunch on weekends, share stories, give guidance, and genuinely look out for us. He and his wife had done well in life, and you could tell they had reached a place where they could afford most of the things they wanted.

So, like many people would think: what do you even give such people?

Then one time, while I had traveled out of the country, something simple crossed my mind: let me get them something. Not because they needed it, not because I was trying to impress them, and certainly not because I wanted anything in return—but simply because I appreciated them.

So, I picked out thoughtful gifts for both of them and brought them back.

The reaction surprised me.

They were genuinely, deeply happy. The kind of happiness that is not about the price of the gift, but the thought behind it. You could see it—this was not something they experienced often. Not because people didn’t know them, but because people rarely think to give to them.

In that moment, I understood something that no financial book had ever taught me: sometimes, the most valuable thing you can give is not money—it is intentionality.

It reminded me of the wisdom in Proverbs that a man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before great men. And I saw it play out in real life—not in a manipulative way, not as a transaction, but as a genuine act of appreciation that strengthened a relationship.

Because the truth is, giving is not always about filling a gap. Sometimes it is about opening a heart.

Globally, studies have shown that acts of giving—even small ones—significantly strengthen human bonds. Research in behavioral economics shows that people are more likely to trust, collaborate with, and support individuals who have shown generosity toward them, even in non-monetary ways.

In fact, in business environments, relationship-based referrals account for a significant portion of opportunities. According to Nielsen, over 90% of people trust recommendations from individuals they know—meaning trust, not just money, is the real driver of influence.

Now bring that back home.

In Uganda, and broadly across Africa, relationships are everything. Deals are not just signed—they are discussed over meals, over phone calls, over introductions. Someone will tell you, “There is someone I want you to meet.” That sentence alone has opened more doors than many proposals.

But here is where many people miss it.

When they meet people in these so-called networking spaces, they immediately switch into selling mode. They are thinking, “What can I get from this person?” instead of asking, “How can I be useful to this person?”

And that is where the connection dies before it even starts.

Because nobody wants to feel like a walking opportunity.

There is a big difference between exchanging contacts and building relationships. Contacts are numbers in your phone. Relationships are bridges that can carry weight when needed. And the bridge is built not by asking, but by giving.

This giving does not have to be expensive. In fact, most times it is not about money at all.

It could be information.

It could be a connection.

It could be support.

It could be simply remembering someone and reaching out when you don’t need anything.

Yet many people are wired the other way. They wait until they are in need to reach out. And when they do, the first line is already a request.

Over time, people begin to recognize this pattern, and naturally, they start creating distance. Not because they are bad people, but because constant extraction without contribution is exhausting.

There is also another reality many don’t talk about.

Being “the one who has” can be very lonely.

People assume strength, so they don’t offer support.

People assume abundance, so they don’t offer help.

Yet even the wealthy face challenges—not necessarily financial, but emotional, relational, and sometimes even strategic. The difference is, fewer people approach them with the intention to give.

That is why a simple, thoughtful act stands out.

In business, this principle becomes even more powerful. Many entrepreneurs struggle with growth not because they lack capital, but because they lack meaningful relationships. They attend workshops, conferences, networking events, collect business cards, exchange numbers—but nothing moves.

Because they are all trying to sell to each other, and no one is trying to serve.

Imagine a different approach.

You meet someone, and instead of thinking about how they can buy from you, you think about how you can help them. Maybe you connect them to someone useful. Maybe you share an idea. Maybe you support their work.

Over time, that person remembers you—not as a salesperson, but as someone valuable.

And value travels.

In East Africa, a significant percentage of business transactions are influenced by referrals and trust networks rather than formal advertising. Even in informal markets, traders rely heavily on relationships—who introduced you, who vouched for you, who knows you.

That is social capital in action.

So, the question is not whether relationships matter. The real question is: what kind of relationships are you building?

Are you known as someone who only shows up when you need something?

Or are you known as someone who adds value, even when there is no immediate benefit?

Because over time, people respond differently.

The one who only asks is tolerated.

The one who gives is remembered.

And the one who is remembered is the one who gets called when opportunities arise.

It is also important to clarify something.

Giving should never be manipulative. It should not be a hidden transaction where you expect a return. People are very good at sensing intention. If your giving is simply a strategy to get something later, it will not carry the same weight.

But if it is genuine, it creates a different kind of connection—one that is difficult to break.

And ironically, those are the relationships that often return value in ways you did not even plan for.

So perhaps it is time to shift perspective.

Instead of asking, “Who can help me?” start asking, “Who can I help?”

Instead of thinking, “What can I get?” start thinking, “What can I give?”

Because sometimes, the fastest way to receive is not by asking. It is by becoming someone worth giving to.

And the next time you think of that person who always helps others—the one everyone calls when they are stuck—don’t be the next request in their inbox.

Be the unexpected message that simply says,

“I thought about you.”

Because in a world full of requests, that alone is rare currency.